It only took six days for Robert Louis Stevenson to write The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, but it takes a little less than two hours for screenwriter Christopher Hampton and director Stephen Frears (the team behind Dangerous Liaisons) to ruin it. The two take Valerie Martin’s plodding revisionist novel and make a plodding quasi-horror film. Martin’s premise is actually clever—tell the story of Jekyll and Hyde (both inconsistently played by John Malkovich) from the housemaid’s point of view. There are loads of possibilities, so many that Frears and Hampton never focus their ideas. Julia Roberts’ goofy "Oirish" accent and generally underwhelming performance only augments the muddle. After seeing so many talented people botching this story, you’ll wish there was some potion you could drink to forget it ( R ). Rating: 2