The legendary Kirk Douglas’ return to the big screen after suffering a stroke in 1995 should have been cause for celebration. Instead, Diamonds proves to be a confused, pedestrian little movie that really doesn’t do him justice. He plays Harry, a stroke-impaired former boxer who coaxes his son, Lance (Dan Aykroyd), and his adolescent grandson, Michael (Corbin Allred), to take him to Reno so that he can get his hands on a stash of gems he’s hidden in a gangster’s house. Along the way, the men try to work out their lifelong squabbles. Diamonds works best during the scenes in which Harry talks about the frustrations he’s had with his recovery. These are about the only moments that the movie seems real. The rest of the footage features unconvincing male bonding, a flat caper (complete with an ending ripped out of Thunderbolt and Lightfoot), and a tediously ludicrous brothel scene where all three generations patronize the establishment. Lauren Bacall tries her best as the madam of the bordello, but even she is at the mercy of a writer (Allan Aaron Katz) and a director (John Asher) who seem to have no idea what kind of movie they are trying to make. (PG-13)

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